After that big January trip, I felt like I was on top of the world. Seriously, I had the confidence of ten Amazonian women. I walked into all of my classes like I was the smartest engineering student to ever engineer. And it was magical. Even my personal life felt perfect. Everything was just…perfect.
And then it started falling apart. Slowly. Like energy moving through a concrete block or something. I don’t know. First came the Mechanical Engineering Analysis project that was all differential equations by hand. Then came the uncertainty in my personal life. Then came the crying and the doubt and the dreams about all the mistakes I’ve ever made.
So I’m headed out this weekend to try to regain a little confidence in myself again. We’ll see if it works. Right now I don’t feel like I’m capable of even the simplest gear train problem. I don’t feel like I can read situations correctly or trust my instincts at all. And a weekend isn’t very long, but maybe it’s long enough.
Unfortunately, I have a Heat Transfer test on Tuesday night, and a Materials and Processes in Manufacturing test on Tuesday morning, so I’ll be bringing some work with me on this trip. The good news is it looks like I’ve got my pack weight down quite a bit. Right around 17lbs this time. Of course, that’s without a tent. I’m thinking I’ll go without this time, but I might still throw it in at the last minute. Or I might just throw in a pencil and some notes instead. We’ll see.
So I’m headed NOBO on this quick little trip. This is the real plan, but since there’s a Heat Transfer review on Sunday at 2 pm, I’m might *try* and do 23.3 miles on Saturday to get to my car and just have to drive out on Sunday. We’ll see how the knee holds up. I’ve had a few days of physical therapy and I feel stronger already (like a horse!) so maybe I’ll be alright.
Or maybe I’ll just spend the whole weekend crying. It’ll be cathartic.
(Oh! If you’re wondering about Tellico Gap to NOC, I actually did that section back in November with some friends. But I’m planning on doing it again with a friend from school when it gets a little warmer.)